MARTYR! by Kaveh Akbar ⭐⭐⭐⭐

“What was there to complain about? A murdered wife? A sore back? The wrong grade copper? Loving happened till it didn’t. There was no choice in it. To say no to a new day would be unthinkable. So each morning you said yes, then stepped into the consequence.”

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I’ll say it: narratives can be over-rated. I’ll take poetic prose that knock me out after a single line over poorly-plotted tropes any day. Maybe this book meanders a bit and lingers when it could flow, but it’s gorgeous writing and has things to say. I may not be able to articulate exactly what all they are now post-read, but I can say it was all very striking in the moment. That’s all I can ask from any reading experience.

Martyr! is good in the way it makes you think of something different in each chapter. I ruminated on thoughts about class and the Middle East and immigration and addiction and existence and love, all the while knowing there was surely so much flying by me I could never grasp it all. I can see this being especially good on reread in the future, one of those that means something new with age and the passage of time. How authors can make a piece of fiction so universal like that is unbelievable.

If I could snag one deep theme I think the book wants you to take away, it’s that we all just want it to matter, right? We want whatever this chaotic blip of feelings and encounters and memories is to have been important in some way. To us, to someone else, to civilization. Digging my toes into the sand of my mid-thirties, I can acknowledge now I most likely won’t leave a lasting imprint on the world. I won’t be president or invent something life-changing. But I think I’ve (mostly, hopefully) affected the people around me for the better. Is that enough? I don’t know. But that’s the goal from here on out as I keep stepping into the consequence.